This is the Service desk module.
What is the objective of the Service Desk?

  • to insult the users when they phone up

  • to listen to the users and pretend that we care about their concerns, to promise to give priority to their requests and then do nothing about it

  • to provide a single point of contact for users where they can receive polite, professional, service focussed treatment from us

  • ABC worst practice example

Not ITIL Answers
Good begin. As well as annoying users it gives us a psychological advantage and makes them feel both insecure and inferior. Which is where we want them.
Not ITIL Answers
Again another good ploy. This one needs to be combined with insulting them every so often. They won't know where they are then or what to expect when they phone up. Once in a while we can actually resolve their incidents and respond to their calls. They get addicted to this and keep on calling so that we get more chance to insult and annoy them.
ABC cartoon